This is the one where we introduce Special Guest Andy! This is an experiment to see if Eric and Ian have the focus to have a conversation with an extra person in the room. It’s probably not going to work. Special Guest Andy will almost certainly not be featured on every episode moving forward.
This one also starts out by centering largely around what seems like a rash of children getting in cars and driving around with decidedly mixed results. No moose and only one bear were harmed in the stories that contributed to this episode.
This leads Special Guest Andy to share a story about being irresponsible with a van when he was young, having invented a game called “Toyota Rodeo.” Probably best not to try this one at home, kids. Stay safe.
Ian shares his own van story in another segment of “How I Almost Wasn’t Here.”
Ian also goes off on a tangent, using his five-dollar college words and Special Guest Andy asks, “Who doesn’t love a slanty box?” Somehow, this segues into Ian calculating the top speed and range of a Segway.
Then there was this story about a guy who hired a hitman to kill his estranged wife. When it turned out the hitman was an undercover cop, the guy hires another hitman to—you know what, just listen to this one.
This is also the one where Ian, who works a day job as a barista and bartender talks about getting a $0.10 tip after a long shift, which we can all agree is the tipping equivalent of giving someone the middle finger. After Ian’s angry tirade, the guys talk about good tipping etiquette.
As part of the tipping conversation, Eric gives some advice from a web comic that he loves, Achewood, where the character, Ray Smuckles says, “No one should be a cock to a stranger, ever.”
Special Guest Andy joins the part of the show where they guys recommend things by bringing a bottle of Laphroaig 10-year-old scotch. Maybe we will have this guy back after all.
Ian thinks that you should go to Stacked Eatery in Menomonie, WI if you get a chance, because he likes to soak his meat in delicious Real Deal beer.
Eric, like almost everybody else, thinks you should watch the movie Nightcrawler. Real original, dude. Way to go out on a limb on that one.